A few days back one of my friends lost his father. He was working in Perth, Western Australia. The moment he heard of his loss he took a direct flight of Chandigarh, India and came back to see his family. He was devastated not to see his father for the last time and regretted going away from home. Scared of losing the father figure he was lonely and turned into a helpless child. Past memories kept coming to surface and he was melting down into ashes.
When he shared the news with me I was shocked and grief-ridden at the fact that after completing my education I too went away from my family in search of a decent job and now I spend less time with them.
As my parents are turning old, the time is coming when I should be present caring for them but they push me to succeed in life. Saying me not to worry for them but to care for my health my father keeps the receiver down. How can parents be so giving until the day they are left with nothing.
The Things I Hope For My Parents:
Every day I pray for their health and focus on fulfilling all my dreams so one day I give them all the happiness in the world, just like they gave me everything. I too want to be a proud daughter of my proud parents seeing their daughter being happy doing what she loves the most. I don’t want to live in regret for the rest of the life that I was not able to care for them, so I try now to give them more time. Every month I and my brother fly to them and make our best memories caring for them. Visiting them gives me infinite happiness, boosting my energy to work more hard to pursue my dreams and one day bring my parents to live in with me. Just the same as it was when I was a kid.
I am sharing the letter which I wrote for my friend’s beloved dad. Tears were flowing through my eyes while I was writing those words as it felt like I too lost a part of me that day. Please spend more time with your parents. Make the best memories and live a blessed life.
The Letter:
“Though I never showed my love openly to you I cared for you every single minute Paa! Years have gone by and I am still figuring a way I can make you proud of me. Now that we can never spend time together with your every word in the past has stayed with me and I am figuring out if I could have given you every happiness of life when you were here. Just like you gave me everything since the time I was born I wanted to give you the same and much more. You holding me in your arms promising me to care for me, the same care I wanted to give you one day. But now when you are not with me there has been a void none could ever fill that space ever. I miss you dad!”
A Word of Advice:
- Please prioritize your time and out of your busy schedule find time for your family. Help your mother with the daily chores for a few days. Help your father with all the important document works. See if anything they need at home is missing.
- Put emergency numbers on speed dial in your parent’s cell phones. Ask them to call an immediate doctor if things go wrong suddenly. If possible after a certain age ask them to move in with you. So you can care for them also not lose focus in your work. If they don’t agree, keep a help who is ready to care for them 24*7. Plan at least one vacation with them in a year. Start taking them for regular medical check-ups.
- Ask your mother to take up a mammogram to check up on her health. When parents start aging they become like babies. They need extra care because they become fragile with time.
- Buy new clothes for them. As they almost stop shopping for them. Tell them they need to feel new and fresh. Life is to live each day like it is on our birthdays. Make special dishes when you visit them. At least try calling them daily if you live far away.
- Take your kids occasionally to meet them so that they would know how adorable their grandparents are. Life is in living little things with love around people who actually care for us.
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Beautifully written.
Thank you.
Thank you on the behalf of the writer.
Lovely moving post! You’re so right we need to spend quality time with our parents before they’re not around anymore. I too live in another country from my parents but do take time to catch up in person a few times a year – we talk or FaceTime almost daily.
Yes. This is a lovely gesture.
One holiday a year with parents would be a great gift to give.
True that.
I wish my parents were still here, and heartily agree on spending time with beloved people wherever they are. If you make it a priority, it happens.
Yes Julia. I agree.
Your parents will always know that you love them. Why have we, in the west, lost this amazing sense of gratitude to our parents? In my mind I am hugging you to say “thank you” for such a beautiful post.
True. However in India, most of the parents live with their children when they get older but the scenario is beginning to change in some metropolitan cities.
So beautiful and these are such wise words!
Thank you on the behalf of the writer.
I love this! It’s a great reminder. And, I love the concept of parents coming to live with children. I wish we here in the States thought that way!
Yes. Thank you.
Thank you for following my own blog… and with this post of yours my heart goes out to you. When I was 23 years old my own mom died. Now my 82 year old grandfather lives with me – but he still works and makes money! I have learned from him in his old age that it is better to do as they wish for you as it makes them feel more fulfilled knowing the life they’ve helped to give you. Honor their sacrifices by honoring their current wishes. Having phone numbers and their personal information stored in your phone is smart! Good job!
Yes I agree. Its great that he has you to take care of him.