To love yourself, you need to be honest with yourself. Take a calm moment, close your eyes and ask “Do you honestly love who you are?” You will find the answer. People who are genuinely happy, love their inner self and are grateful for who they are.
Self-love comes after you learn self-acceptance, ability to see things as they are, self-possession, self-awareness, self-respect, kindness, and humbleness. You can not be happy if you don’t love yourself. You can fake it to keep your loved ones happy, which is a good gesture in a way but not a healthy one.
A person who is genuinely happy and joyful spreads happiness and positivity around him. And I think this is better than faking happiness for your loved ones. You have to initiate the process of loving yourself by looking at your good side and appreciating the good little things that you do in your everyday life.
By constantly regretting your bad habits you are making this process hard. You start making a firm belief that you are unworthy or undeserving of love and happiness. This, in turn, affects your relationship, dating, going out and basically your entire daily life. Starting to love yourself is a beautiful and gradual process and this involves many methods and steps.
Here I am sharing these steps, based on my experience and research:
1. Have Trust In Yourself:
Know your strengths, know what you are good at and have trust in yourself that you are not dependent on others. Work on your weaknesses and be self dependent. You have the ability to take care of it on your own. Lack of self-trust is quite common. Because it isn’t something we’ve been specifically encouraged or trained to do. But after the self-realization your self-trust increases.
“I have missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot… and missed. And I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
2. Stop Over Criticizing Yourself:
While constructive criticism can be healthy and helpful in growing yourself, however, being overly critical is extremely dangerous. This may lead you to low self-esteem as well as other mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. We all make mistakes. Learn to let go of bad memories. Every person is unique. Accept this uniqueness and embrace it.
“We are all failures- at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie
3. Start Your Day With A Positive Attitude (Not With Social Media):
The very moment you wake up in the morning, you have two choices – you can either get out of bed, start your day with a big smile and make the best out of it. Or you can pick your smartphone and and browse Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. Keep in mind that your morning routine decides the quality of the rest of the day.
“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” – Roy T. Bennett
4. Be Kind And Positive:
Kindness always comes from a person who is wise and understands how the world is. Kindness shows a person’s great self-understanding and wisdom.
It’s not our job to play judge and jury, to determine who is worthy of our kindness and who is not. We just need to be kind, unconditionally and without ulterior motive, even – or rather, especially when we’d prefer not to be. – Josh Radnor
5. Appreciate Yourself And Your Efforts:
Appreciating yourself is all about being grateful to yourself. For example you are thankful that you are healthy, your body is working fine, you are grateful for your strengths and talent. It is about being fine about your weaknesses too. For example, even though I’m not good at talking or leading a team, I appreciate that I have a quiet and reflective nature.
“I may not be where I want to be but I’m thankful for not being where I used to be.” – Habeeb Akande
6. Don’t Worry About Silly Little Things:
It is such a waste of time and energy to worry about trivial issues. But it’s amazing to see how many people get trapped in this vicious cycle. If you look closely, you would be surprised that how most of the people worry about stupid little things in their lives that would have no serious impact on them. Life would be just fine without those things and even finer if they stop worrying about them. Always look at the bright side.
“It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.” – Arthur Conan Doyle
7. Learn To Forgive Yourself, Don’t Regret:
If you made a mistake, know that it was just a mistake and it’s gone now. Focus on what you can do to undo it. If it’s not in your hands to undo it then just let it go. Past is dead, you can not do anything about it. All you can do is embrace the present with open arms and eyes.
“I have learned, that the person I have to ask for forgiveness from the most is: myself. You must love yourself. You have to forgive yourself, everyday, whenever you remember a shortcoming, a flaw, you have to tell yourself “That’s just fine”. You have to forgive yourself so much, until you don’t even see those things anymore. Because that’s what love is like.” – C. JoyBell C.
8. Be Honest To Yourself:
Know your qualities and weaknesses. Work on your weaknesses, which will help you evolve as a better person. Honestly accept the way you are and learn to live it.
“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” -Walter Anderson
9. Meditate And Grow Spiritually:
Meditation is the process of surrendering the mind. It is not about struggling to control the thoughts. It is the method of letting go. Meditation offers release from distractions and disturbances and promotes inner peace and calmness. Meditation helps you to increase spiritual awareness and alertness. It helps to flow the powers of the unconscious mind into the conscious mind.
“It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you.” – Buddha
10. Express Gratitude:
A gesture of gratitude acknowledges the importance of people, things, events around you and how they make a difference in your life. People express gratitude to convey warm and friendly feelings. Gratitude bring calmness and positive vibes with it. When we deeply feel thankful to someone or something and express gratitude, it’s a proven and effective way to positively influence ours and other’s behavior and attitude in a positive way. You feel good about yourself.
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” – Epicurus
11. Be Confident And Humble:
Carry yourself with pride and feel good about yourself. The confidence that you have in you should be visible on your face. If you are humble enough to treat people alike and if you don’t agree with other’s opinion, do not bash them. If your opinion differs from others then use kind words and respect their personal opinion.
“A wise man is humble, knowing he actually doesn’t know much.” – Eraldo Banovac
12. Chill And Have A Good Time:
Take your time to relax a bit. Keep your mind cool even when you are working. Relaxing is all about being in a chilled out state as much as you possibly can throughout your day. It’s not about taking some time as a reaction from the rest of your day, which you have decided to make stressful.
“What Happens, Happens.” – Spike Spiegel Cowboy Bebop
13. Find Fun In Little Things:
Small gestures can mean so much more than one grand display of love. Simple things throughout the day can sometimes be far more gratifying than one amazing weekend. Just smile to someone and you may get one back.
“Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things, I am tempted to think there are no little things.” – Bruce Burton
14. Take Care Of Your Body:
A healthy body leads to healthy mind. Your health is your true wealth and take care of it. Balance your diet. Have a perfect work-life balance, get proper sleep, do yoga, jogging, play a sport and engage in outdoor activities. Health can really affect your happiness and stress levels. If your health isn’t good, it will affect everything else that’s going on in your life. From relatively minor health issues such as indigestion, headaches and pains to major health issues can threaten your existence.
I believe that the greatest gift you can give your family and the world is a healthy you. – Joyce Meyer
15. Learn To See Beauty And Positivity Around You:
Everything has it’s own beauty. You have to totally be in the present moment to see it. Even the sadness has it’s own beauty. When your mind is unstable then everything seems so depressive. Trust me, It’s not your boss, co-workers, money or the traffic, but your it’s own way to see things that creates stress and negative energy or happiness and positive energy.
“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.” – Anne Frank